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Publisher |
Marvel |
Published | May 1985 |
RED 9 AND RED TAPE! Spider-Man is web-slinging across the city when he is suddenly attacked by a costumed youth calling himself Red 9. With his rocket boots and his personal force field, the cocky young man believes that he has the power to defeat Spider-Man in battle. The wall-crawler is far too agile for the clumsy young man. Spider-Man notices that Red 9 is sweating profusely. When Spider-Man attempts to web up his attacker, Red 9's force field prevents the webbing from gripping him. Red 9 then tries to shoot Spider-Man with his blasters, but the hero manages to leap onto Red 9's shoulders. Red 9 then tries to fly away, but the pair ends up crashing through a window. The impact is humiliating for Spider-Man, but it knocks Red 9 clean out. Spider-Man checks on his attacker and notices that he is looking flush. His examination is interrupted by Philmont Magee, a resident of the hospital they have crashed into. Spider-Man is flabbergasted when Magee orders him to sweep up the broken glass off the floor of his room. Spider-Man can't help but pick up a broom and begin sweeping. That's when Doctor Rattaum enters the room and he isn't surprised that Magee was the source of all the commotion. After exchanging some heated words with the ornery old man, Rattaum discovers Red 9 laying on the floor. One of his assistants notes that he has a serious fever and Rattaum orders his assistants to take Red 9 down to the ER for examination. The whole time, Rattum is scolded by Magee. Having had enough, Rattaum explains to the old man that he was only expected to live for three months. Fed up with the crotchety old man, Rattaum informs Philmont that he has been declared legally dead and his government assistance has been cut off and he will soon be removed from the building. Hearing this Spider-Man wants to know why Magee is being thrown out. Rattaum explains that the old man has been fighting to get his way to the point that it is costing too much money to keep him. Even though it is probably a computer error, Rattaum has no interest in straightening things out. Spider-Man can't just let the old man be thrown out, no matter how grumpy he is, and vows to get this situation sorted out by 5 pm that afternoon. Spider-Man goes to the social security office, but the woman at the counter is not interested in talking to Spider-Man. Back outside, Spider-Man wonders why he even bothered putting on his costume that day. Suddenly, the wall-crawler comes up with a way to help out Magee. Changing into Peter Parker, the hero then uses his charm and press credentials to talk to the woman at social services. She is taken by his flattery and explains that the situation with Philmont Magee is not the mistake of social services, but Medicare. Travelling there, he tries to talk to Mr. Blodgett, the manager at medicare to try and straighten out Magee's situation. He's disinterested, and when one of his employees offers to help Peter out he loses his temper. Despite this, the employee looks up the information and discovers that Philmont Magee was mixed up with the similarly named Philip Magee. However, Blodgett informs Parker that the only way they can change the computers is through a court order. He then gloats over how the judge in charge of this duty, Benjamin Handley, always leaves work early on Wednesdays. Coincidentally, the judge's niece is also one of the employees under Blodgett's employ. She tells Peter that her uncle can be found at the Silver Lake Golf Course on Staten Island. With time running out, Peter changes back into Spider-Man and rushes to catch the ferry to Staten Island. Unfortunately, he misses it by mere moments. Luckily a couple in a motorboat see this and offer to give him a lift to the island. Using his webbing to make an improvised handglide, Spider-Man is pulled to Staten Island. There he lands in a tree on the golf course and uses its cover to change back into Peter Parker. He learns where Judge Handley is in the clubhouse. When he gets there, the Handley was already informed by his niece and has all the paperwork done up. As Peter goes to leave, the judge calls ahead to the hospital to tell them that he is coming with Philmore Magee's paperwork. He tells Parker to beware of Red 5 who is running amok in the hospital. The judge explains that the youth has pneumonia and is spoiling for a rematch against Spider-Man. Changing back into Spider-Man, Peter makes his way back to the hospital. En route he is attacked by Red 9 once again. During the fight, Spider-Man asks Red 9 where he got his armor. Red explains that his uncle built it for NASA and offered him a chance to test it out. Recently turning sixteen, Red's friends put him in the suit and sent him to New York to test it out against Spider-Man. During their fight, Red 9 clips Spider-Man's web-sack with his blaster. This causes his street clothes and court order to spill out onto the street below. When Spider-Man tries to recover the paperwork, he arrives too late to stop it from burning up in the barbeque of a street vendor. Furious, Spider-Man easily trounces Red 9, whose low power and illness make for an easier defeat. Ripping apart Red 9's costume, Spider-Man scolds him for delaying him further and carries him to the hospital. After a quick phone call and another trip to Long Island to get a new set of papers, Spider-Man returns to the hospital. Finding an empty wheelchair in Magee's room makes Spider-Man believe he is too late and he smashes it with his hands. However, he is proven wrong when Magee enters the room and scolds him for making another mess. As it turns out, the other patients and Red 9 (who has since been treated for his pneumonia) had tied up Doctor Rattamun to buy more time. Raddamun is furious t his treatment and vows to toss out Magee once and for all. Spider-Man shows him the paperwork and tells him to do no such thing before ramming the court order in Rattamun's mouth. As Spider-Man gets ready to leave, Magee orders him to sweep up the broken wheelchair before he goes. Spider-Man does so grudgingly, lamenting that none of his foes have been able to make him do such a humiliating task.